It has been two months since I resigned from my writing job. At first, I thought it would be my career or passion for my entire life. Unfortunately, I do not feel a certain way about writing anymore.
I try to push myself to write anything—you can check my other writing—but I can’t. I will end up curling up in a corner of my room and questioning my worth as a human being.
Just kidding. It is funny in my head.
I have been writing professionally for almost two years, and it makes me believe that this is the only way to earn money after graduating. Shit happened, and I question what I really want.
Is this what I want, or is it just because I’ve done it for two years that makes me believe that writing is what I want?
I am sure it is the second one. I know I hate writing. It is crystal clear because I am truly horrible at writing. Some people also say a good writer is a good reader. Well, I am not, my attention span is just like a goldfish.
It is kind of ironic that I do this in the writing method and that I graduated from the literature department.
However, my friend said to me, “By doing things you believe are what you want, you can see if it is really what you want or not.”
I still remember this word to this day. It makes me feel better to understand that writing is not for me. Well, it was horrible, but I am glad I did it.
In that case, I believe humans are dynamic. We change as the day goes by, sort of like Theseus' ship philosophy.
Change to the wholeness
In the middle of the sea, the ship was damaged by a storm, large waves, or even a shark and needed to be repaired with a new plank of wood, which makes the ship look different from the first time it was abroad.
Storms, destructive waves, and unexplainable situations, like Theseus' ship, make us unable to do what we thought we wanted before. And yes, it is okay to feel that way. In order to keep sailing, the ship needs to be repaired.
Maybe changing careers, dreams, ideas, hobbies, friends, cities, or tastes in music. Finding the best version of ourselves in this chaotic world while sometimes tripping over on and on.
You can do that anytime, and it is part of life — also growing up. Change is inevitable. You only get one life, so make the most of it. If it makes you better, then why not?
